Yeah You Right
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
License To Steal
So my car got stolen last week. Out of my driveway. Sometime between, say, 11:30 p.m. Sunday, March 13 and 7:30 a.m. Monday, when the Boy and I walked out the back door and, while I'm facing the other way locking the deadbolt, I hear "So, Dad, where's our car?" Serious cramp in the morning schedule.
Now, the 1995 Mazda 626 ES is a fine ride and all, but c'mon. I do take solace in the fact that the person(s) driving it away could only have rounded the corner before wondering what the hell is that "thunk" when it shifts from first to second gear. Regrettably, the two sets of golf clubs belonging to the Boy and me, the two suits and six Brooks Brothers shirts in the front seat waiting to be taken to the cleaners, and the 20-odd CDs were probably worth almost as much as the car itself.
Regarding the CDs, I have some angst because I know, based on the capacity of the various places to stash 'em, that I have around 20 in the car at any given time. But I've so far only been able to identify 13 that I'm missing. On the downside(s), (a) I may never figure out what others I had in the car and (b) as the list below shows, I perhaps need to introduce greater variety into my listening.
Alligator Records 30th Anniversary Collection
Blues Revue Magazine Music Sampler (Feb-Mar 2005)
Hound Dog Taylor - Genuine House Rockin' Music
Hound Dog Taylor - Natural Boogie
Johnnie Taylor - Greatest Hits
Rosie Ledet - Now's The Time
Sue Foley - Change
Bonnie Raitt (eponymous debut album)
If You Don't Know Me By Now: Best of Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes
Cowboys To Girls: Best Of The Intruders
Teddy Pendergrass - Greatest Hits
Angie Stone - Mahogany Soul
Mighty Sam McClain - Sledgehammer Soul & Down Home Blues
On the upside, it gave me reason to go through my entire CD collection, which caused me to find a lot of crap that I can take to the local Buy-Sell-Trade store and swap out for, what else, more R&B and blues compilations.
But here's the topper (sorry for burying the lede): I picked up a copy of the police report today. Aside from the check-boxes and information like my name, address, car's VIN, etc. the report, which is typed and dated March 16 (relevance will become clear below) reads -- in its entirety -- verbatim as follows:
03-14-05, Mr. [Paycheck] reported his 1995 Mazda 626 vehicle stolen to the Atlanta Police Department. Mr. [Paycheck] reported the vehicle was stolen from the driveway of his residence at [casa Paycheck].
03-15-05, I was assigned Mr. [Paycheck's] vehicle theft report for investigation.
03-16-05, I was conducting a follow up investigation of the 1995 Mazda 626 vehicle Mr. [Paycheck] reported stolen to the Atlanta Police Department. [ed. note: Nice use of repetition. What are we, getting paid by the word?] I checked the vehicle on G.C.I.C., and saw where the vehicle was still listed as stolen. I checked the Atlanta Police's vehicle impounds, and I did not see where the vehicle had been impounded. I contacted Mr. [Paycheck] by telephone, and assured him, the vehicle's VIN, and tag numbers, was entered onto G.C.I.C. to show the vehicle to be stolen. I ask Mr. [Paycheck] if there was any additional information concerning his vehicle theft? Mr. [Paycheck] said he would fax me a list of the credit cards inside the console of his stolen vehicle, although he has closed the accounts, and there were no reported activity on the accounts. [ed. note: I know, I know...] I assured him the Atlanta Police Department was looking for the vehicle. I left my name and telephone number for any questions he may have.
All leads in this case have been exhausted. This case is inactivated.
Well, there you have it. Apparently, the hour-and-a-half I spent walking around my neighborhood and checking behind the buildings at the nearby shopping centers in case some kid went for a joyride and abandoned the car and its balky transmission (all the while thinking about Walter outside Larry's house in The Big Lebowski [also the first comment the Cap'n had when we exchanged e-mails that day]) renders me the lead detective on the case. Maybe I should change my name to Tommy Sharky.
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